Holding On

Everything is traumatizing when you are little. It doesn’t take something big – just a small realization brought on by a small event. Like losing a friend or witnessing your family fighting or breaking your favorite toy or losing sight of your parents in a crowded place. Suddenly the world gets too big and you get too small, and everything changes – cause you thought it was all one way, but then everything flips, and things you thought were unbreakable begin to crack. And it all kind of scares the crap out of you. And then as you get older and you start coming to terms with the fact that this can happen to anything. Well then it starts taking something bigger to make you feel that way again, but make no mistake; you can still feel that way. You can always still feel that way. Because you keep finding things to hold onto because with the world spinning and flip-flopping, you’ve become increasing desperate for a solid foundation. But everything cracks, and eventually the thing you are holding slides from your fingers because nothing in this world is larger than sand, so the tighter your grip the quicker your loss. So maybe the only way to escape the world-upside-down, life-shattering feeling is to embrace that everything is temporary and learn to hold a moment, and learn to let it slip – because this sand will leave your fingers, but new sand will always find them.